That's right after 11 months in Korea I still don't know how to say "goodbye" properly. But I have discovered the key is to slur. I think I was satisfied with my Korean after I learned how to properly direct a taxi to my shoebox and read the menu at Kimbap Heaven.
My last day in Korea is suddenly this coming Monday. I had a reckless moment sitting in Java City (coffee shop) in which I decided I was ready to leave Korea... now. So I booked a ticket for Tuesday.
Boom! I am the picture of efficiency. This is moderately surprising given my slothful autumn during which my major accomplishment was to become increasingly out of shape. In the past 7 days I have packed, moved, researched and planned a 4 month adventure through 6 countries, bought malaria pills, became an expert on malaria prophylactics, discovered malaria pills are scary and returned said pills, got new pills, got jabbed with Hep A, B and typhoid, visited banks, moved money, visited countless pharmacies where I attempted to gesticulate which kinds of meds I wanted for travel in uncomfortable countries (can we say awkward?) and booked a ticket to Thailand.
My flight leaves Korea at 8:45 am Tuesday morning destined for Bangkok. (And, yes, I'm ridiculously excited mixed with a healthy dose of OMG what did I just decide to do?!)
Thursday, January 29
Sunday, January 25
Happy Spam Day
It's Lunar New Year. Holidays in Korea are all accompanied by the same consumer behavior: buying gift boxes for all of your friends and relations. These boxes are usually all the same size (very similar in size actually to the big rectangular birthday cakes you get for a large crowd of kids); and they each come with a custom-fit matching bag because Korea loves packaging and matching. They can contain pretty much anything from soap and toothpaste to exotic mushrooms and ginseng. However the perenial favorite is: spam.
From a recent Mega Mart expedition I discovered the going rate for a gift box of 9 giant cans of spam is ~30.000 won (~$30). It is only the rare school where some teachers got away with crates of Asian pears or deluxe apples instead of mystery meat. Being unemployed I escaped the fate of a cupboard full of spam but alas I am also cupboad-less.
From a recent Mega Mart expedition I discovered the going rate for a gift box of 9 giant cans of spam is ~30.000 won (~$30). It is only the rare school where some teachers got away with crates of Asian pears or deluxe apples instead of mystery meat. Being unemployed I escaped the fate of a cupboard full of spam but alas I am also cupboad-less.
Tuesday, January 20
Monday, January 19
Monday
9 am: Text message from boss. Get out by Wednesday morning. I have your money.
12 pm: Cell phone is cut off without any notice.
2 pm: Lose cool with boss. Boss hangs up and refuses all calls.
Evening: Steaming mad and packing. Can't wait to get my money.
12 pm: Cell phone is cut off without any notice.
2 pm: Lose cool with boss. Boss hangs up and refuses all calls.
Evening: Steaming mad and packing. Can't wait to get my money.
Saturday, January 17
Saturday Night
7:30 pm
My Shoebox
"BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!"
Me: Hmm... the last time I heard a knock like that it was my first morning in my shoebox and the angry landlord/garbage inspector from downstairs barged into my bathroom, turned on the tap and was soaked by the shower head. Who could this be and what could I possibly have done wrong this time?
"BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!"
Me: I guess I should at least check who it is.
Outside: Three Korean women.
Me: What on Earth could they possibly want with me on a Saturday night?
Me: Hestitantly open the door.
The 3 Korean women: "koreankoreankoreankoreankorean..."
Me: "Um, what?"
The 3 Korean women: "Room. See."
Me: Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. I should have expected this. D told me he would be looking to rent my place. Though I specifically and very clearly told him to call me with any news I am not at all surprised by this surprise visit.
Me: "Ok"
Three strangers enter to judge my shoebox.
Awkwardness.
The three strangers leave.
Me: Immediately dial D.
D: "Hello?"
Me: "....!.....?...... tell me .......!.......?..... strangers! ..........?!.... when....!.....?... move out!?.....MY MONEY?!?"
D: "Um, yes, uh, 3 or 4 days you move out."
Me: !?!?!?!?!??!
Me: !?!.... MY MONEY???
D: Yes. Wednesday.
Me: Total shock/muted happiness. Hallelulia I'm getting paid!
@^#%$ I need to move in 4 days???
Me: "Ok. Good. I want my money before moving. Bye"
My Shoebox
"BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!"
Me: Hmm... the last time I heard a knock like that it was my first morning in my shoebox and the angry landlord/garbage inspector from downstairs barged into my bathroom, turned on the tap and was soaked by the shower head. Who could this be and what could I possibly have done wrong this time?
"BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!"
Me: I guess I should at least check who it is.
Outside: Three Korean women.
Me: What on Earth could they possibly want with me on a Saturday night?
Me: Hestitantly open the door.
The 3 Korean women: "koreankoreankoreankoreankorean..."
Me: "Um, what?"
The 3 Korean women: "Room. See."
Me: Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. I should have expected this. D told me he would be looking to rent my place. Though I specifically and very clearly told him to call me with any news I am not at all surprised by this surprise visit.
Me: "Ok"
Three strangers enter to judge my shoebox.
Awkwardness.
The three strangers leave.
Me: Immediately dial D.
D: "Hello?"
Me: "....!.....?...... tell me .......!.......?..... strangers! ..........?!.... when....!.....?... move out!?.....MY MONEY?!?"
D: "Um, yes, uh, 3 or 4 days you move out."
Me: !?!?!?!?!??!
Me: !?!.... MY MONEY???
D: Yes. Wednesday.
Me: Total shock/muted happiness. Hallelulia I'm getting paid!
@^#%$ I need to move in 4 days???
Me: "Ok. Good. I want my money before moving. Bye"
Tuesday, January 13
"You do the hokie pokie..."
Things at camp have vastly improved. This is largely because I was able to make some lesson plans; but also due to the chance discovery of the magic of The Hokie Pokie. I'm getting a workout every morning singing and acting this out multiple times per class. The success of this song led me to revisit other songs of my childhood spending an embarrassing amount of time watching Sharon, Lois and Bram videos on YouTube.
I visited my boss... again. The good news is he signed a paper agreeing to pay me by the end of the month. The bad news is I'm not entirely sure how long I'll have my apartment for or if he'll actually be able to dig up the money.
But now it's time for The Elephant Show.
I visited my boss... again. The good news is he signed a paper agreeing to pay me by the end of the month. The bad news is I'm not entirely sure how long I'll have my apartment for or if he'll actually be able to dig up the money.
But now it's time for The Elephant Show.
Monday, January 12
Dear Korea,
Can I tell you how much I love leading a series of 50 minute classes with no prep/forewarning/help/advice... I so enjoy standing in front of 15 students thinking uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......... #$%@. I sang the ABCs.
Also, I really like it when I don't get paid for months and lose my job and see my bonus disappear in front of me. And spending my afternoons with a translator and a worker bee from the Ministry of Labor is just my idea of swell.
Also, I really like it when I don't get paid for months and lose my job and see my bonus disappear in front of me. And spending my afternoons with a translator and a worker bee from the Ministry of Labor is just my idea of swell.
Thursday, January 8
Cold Feet
...literally that is, not figuratively.
I spent this afternoon wandering the corridors of a random elementary school on the island south of Jagalchi fish market. Korean school rules dictated I remove my shoes at the door. Sure no problem ...in the summer. However, it is January in Korea and large buildings like elementary schools are not well heated at all especially when school is out on winter break. After combing all four floors my feet were very cold.
What brought me to this elementary school was a position at a winter "camp." Somehow it took me til today to understand that "English camp" is actually code for extra language lessons. Rookie mistake. Given that regular school is on break what else is there to do with Korean children than sign them up for more school!? But I'm not complaining because I got the (temporary) job!
The latest on my legal wranglings with my ex-boss can best be described as stalled. In theory I'm waiting for him to sell the school so he can pay me. Unfortunately, the longer it takes the less likely it is I will see any of my money. I suppose I'll have to turn the pressure dial to "intense."
In light of all this messiness I've decided that once it is cleaned up I will leave Korea. My plan is to travel solo for two months in Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia and meet up with Japan J at the end of March to cover Vietnam, Cambodia and northern Thailand. Here's to not getting cold feet!
I spent this afternoon wandering the corridors of a random elementary school on the island south of Jagalchi fish market. Korean school rules dictated I remove my shoes at the door. Sure no problem ...in the summer. However, it is January in Korea and large buildings like elementary schools are not well heated at all especially when school is out on winter break. After combing all four floors my feet were very cold.
What brought me to this elementary school was a position at a winter "camp." Somehow it took me til today to understand that "English camp" is actually code for extra language lessons. Rookie mistake. Given that regular school is on break what else is there to do with Korean children than sign them up for more school!? But I'm not complaining because I got the (temporary) job!
The latest on my legal wranglings with my ex-boss can best be described as stalled. In theory I'm waiting for him to sell the school so he can pay me. Unfortunately, the longer it takes the less likely it is I will see any of my money. I suppose I'll have to turn the pressure dial to "intense."
In light of all this messiness I've decided that once it is cleaned up I will leave Korea. My plan is to travel solo for two months in Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia and meet up with Japan J at the end of March to cover Vietnam, Cambodia and northern Thailand. Here's to not getting cold feet!
Thursday, January 1
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